I'm Crazed with school's demands

Then, as I looked out at the city before me, I noticed how the sun beautifully highlighted trees and homes. It also highlighted the sides of buildings while the streets reflected the sun's yellow hue. The sight melted my resolve; I yearned for my life in Arkansas. The tears nearly spilled over as I told the Lord I wanted to go back to AR, life was so much more joyful and easy. Then BAM, it hit me. The story of the Israelite's in the desert...they saw miracle after miracle after miracle. They witnessed the power of God in ways most Christians today think is irrelevant to our time. It was rough for them, yet God provided just what they needed for the day. A prime example: Food from heaven. The seemingly impossible task of moving into the promise land clouded their faith, empowered their emotions, and fostered frustration. They ultimately reached a point of giving up -- even to the point of saying they wanted to go back to Egypt! I mean you look at the story and think, "seriously Israelite's? Why? Did you not see how the Lord brought you this far? Is it that difficult to believe the Lord will carry you through?" Well, because of their disbelief only two, of the thousands and thousands and thousands of them, saw the Promise Land. So here I am driving home, feeling overwhelmed, tired, emotionally drained, spiritually parched, and telling God that I wish I was in AR. This year, though challenging and tough, has provided some of the most awesome stories of my life yet! There have been many times I've seen God work miracles or show me glimpses of His awesomeness in these past nine months; it really blows my mind when I think of it. Who am I to wish it away? I felt terrible. I realized that just as the Lord prepared just enough food for the Israelite's daily, that He has been and will provide just enough of what I need to get through my day, daily. It's my choice whether or not I'm going to go out and receive it! I am saddened how fast and how long I allowed my overwhelming circumstances cloud the reality that God brought me here and with no doubt He will see me through! No matter what arises. Need for money? He's got it covered. Need for food? He's taken care of that. Need for strength? He will be my strength for me. Need for comfort? He's given me peace today, [it really does go beyond understanding!]. Need for wisdom or understanding? He wrote a book for me to read. Don't know what to pray? Overwhelmed? Jesus stands in the gap interceding for me [and you] at this very moment.
All in all, the Lord is all I need. But I am also blessed with a wonderful Fiance, wonderful family and friends cheering me on. ---- Only 6 weeks to go! And at the end of this phase? There is quite the prize to behold. I get to marry the love of my life, Jeffrey Levin (=

--- This is an excerpt from my very extensive venting session.