What Most Do Not Get to See

Have you heard the phrase "highlight reel?" How it incapsulates the highlights, leaving out the in-between stuff? It's 11:42pm and I'm wide awake thinking about all the in-between stuff. All. Of. It.  

There's no shame in sharing all the highlights. My goodness am I thankful for my Instagram account and my kiddos private one. Seriously, it is such a joy to reflect on those beautiful moments of my history. (Reminds you of the good stuff when it's hard.) 

 

This morning I could feel myself struggling to get out of bed. My kids were up and at em with gusto. My brilliant idea of opening the shades and letting the sun rise and shine on my face was doing little to help motivate me to move. It is as if my body has decided to catch up on a few years of sleep, the exact week Walt decided to sleep through the night…a week ago. Lord help me grow baby #4 and raise the other 3!

 

Speaking of the other 3 kiddos, I lost my calm this morning with them. While I may have been justified it is always a painful experience for me. How could I have responded more effectively? Did loosing my calm do any good, even if just a bit? I want to raise respectful human beings. There's so much pressure to make sure you give your children space to express their emotions and speak their minds. It becomes a hard balance on what that looks like because you care so deeply for them and their potential. However, as a parent, you need to find what your "line" is. What is your goal as a parent? Knowing those answers for our family, is something that does help me keep my calm instead of being reactionary. However, it doesn't go to say there aren't unique challenges along the way. 

 

At some point I knew we just needed to get out of the house. My mind kept envisioning the kids and I walking on a beautiful Fall colored trail. However, in my mind it's not paved. All the trails I know about, that don't cost money, are paved. Needless to say, I figured we'd go to one of the bike trails. As we were driving I felt that familiar tug in my spirit to turn right. Over the years that familiar tug has proved to almost always be Holy Spirit. So….what did I do? I turned left. Then I turned left again. Thinking, "I don't want to go that way to the park." However, I felt the tug even stronger, "turn right." So, we turned right. I figured a couple things, it will be a beautiful drive and we may as well go to the state park. (I did not feel like paying the daily rate just to be there for a bit.) As we ooed and awed at the the Fall colors, I saw a faded sign for a county park. Without hesitation I just started following it's directions. I got close to giving up on it because we eventually just did not see another sign for a long time. With it being so faded, maybe it was not a current park? I whipped out my phone and Google maps showed me I was a mile away and sure enough, just beyond the stop sign was another very faded sign telling us to turn. 

 

I was expecting to find a run down playground. Something that would seem to match the condition of the signs. However, we were stunningly surprised to find gorgeous well maintained walking trails. Amazing Fall colors and plenty of picnic tables to share some school time on. 

 

The walk was beautiful and my kids ran with joy! (I did my best not to be too paranoid about potential creeps along the way and embrace what I was daydreaming to do with my kids!) 

 

We saw snakes, birds, squirrels, a creek, flowers, birch trees, spruce trees, pine trees, oak, maple, maybe walnut? It was like a kiss from the Lord. The verse that came to mind when I parked was, "the mind of the man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps." It's pretty hard to get your feet directed when they are standing still huh? I am so thankful that I once again, followed Holy Spirit's leading in "turning right." That little moment today was what I so badly needed to refresh my soul. I  did still leave the park working on maintaining my calm yet again with one of my children, but overall, we made very nice memories together. Shirley would remind me right now that her snack of veggie fries fell into the creek. It was very traumatic for her. It carried her baggie off so swiftly. Thankfully her little brother came to the rescue and gladly gave her his veggies fries. <3 What a sweet exchange to watch. Speaking of sweet exchange to watch! Stan at some point on our walk was not pleased with the weight of his backpack. I held Walter, my backpack and a growing baby. I was pretty certain taking his water bottle in my load was all that I could handle. Alas, his backpack was still just "too heavy." You know how three year old's get when emotions are feeling larger by the minute? Add to that a mom who isn't too concerned about the actual weight of the bag, carrying a single notebook and crayons in it. Well, big sis to the rescue. She was moved by compassion when she looked back to see her brother dragging his backpack. She offered her help, swiftly put it on her front as if she has done this before and proceeded to keep walking with a smile. Her little brother began running circles around us, up and down the trail. Telling us to watch all the things he could do. His spunk had returned! And the joy was felt all around. Those little moments reminded me how powerful our actions can influence others into relief, joy, gratitude…you name it!